a lot of people ask me “jack, how are you so effortlessly cool?”
two words:
baffling ignorance.
what happened? who? i’m sorry, i didn’t catch that.
people also like to me ask me “jack, who was your third grade teacher?”
mrs. baumlin. sometimes she brought in her husband and he would bring pizza. another time, she lead an exercise in teaching the concept of segregation in which she asked certain kids to go to recess in an order based on looks. in ms. baumlin’s third grade class, only i and brandon nguyen wore glasses, so only we stood up when she said “what if i only let students with glasses go to recess?” i thought this was a fantastic idea. brandon nguyen still wears glasses, but he is now immensely more fit than i am, and goes to an academically better college.
with love,
dick cheney.